A Nurtured Life

I truly believe that making time for yourself is necessary and it doesn’t need to be complicated. Being the mom of three kids it can be hard to find some “me” time, that doesn’t include running to the store by yourself to get milk.

I am lucky to have involved grandparents where my husband and I have been able to have a night to ourselves; but what I have found over the years is that I was really not using that time wisely.

When I know the kids are going for a sleepover I make all these plans in my head, usually plans for errands, or all those places I want to visit and I never get all that I want done and my time is rushed.

It has taken me 10 years but I think I have finally found the balance on how to make quality time for myself - whether it be feeding my body, mind or soul. I don't know if it comes with age or experience or maybe I am just in a new phase of my life but my focus has definitely changed.

When it comes to a healthy lifestyle - I feel like I have spent the last 10 years on a yo-yo; after all, I had three LARGE babies during that time (yup my last one was one ounce shy of 10 pounds). Before I had my first child I had recently lost 45 pounds, and since then I have always aimed for a healthy lifestyle - which pre-babies meant working out like a mad women and calorie counting, but it was just this past January that my outlook made a shift. I began to look at my physical activity and my mind set differently. Instead of doing workouts I hate, I told myself I am only doing workouts I love – lifting weights, walking, hiking, and Popsugar Workouts (really why does it need to be complicated). It is more about being strong and healthy and comfortable in my own skin then what the scale is telling me.

I had a small problem with being consistently active. I felt I was rushed throughout the day to fit some sort of physical activity. I am a child care provider (in my own home) and between 7:30am – 5:00pm there is not much time for myself besides 15-20min to eat lunch. BUT WAIT, my day does not end there because after the children I care for leave I still need to get my own three children fed, bathed, books before bed, before my day finally ends.

That is when I decided that the only time that would truly work for me to fit in regular activity would be at 5:30am. I am now on week 8 of this new routine. I know, why would anyone get up this early!?

Getting up at 5:30 gives me a ½ hour to fit in a workout without any interruptions. Everyone is still sound asleep in their beds. Now, I am not going to lie it was not an easy transition, it was difficult the first two weeks. My balance was completely off, I was very groggy and struggled to give it my all. Once my body adjusted to this new change, I found myself waking up before my alarm even goes off. I am alert, I am not rushing to get everyone out the door in the morning. It has helped immensely with my stress level and I feel like I have a step up on the day. That whole 1/2 hour to myself is almost meditative, and I managed to scratch out 30 minutes a day during the week to feed my body.

I am also focusing on one of my weaknesses – flexibility – which in turn has lead me to focus on more of my inner self, my mind and well-being.

I began by journaling, something I haven’t done since my very early twenties. I fill it with my thoughts, prayers and affirmations. Usually this happens for me in the evening when the kids are asleep (including the big one *wink* ). I find a spot in the house and have some soothing music playing and just let it all out, prayers of thankfulness, direction and strength. I tend to carry this journal around with me everywhere I go so that when I am feeling inspired I can write it down to reflect on later.

Making these small changes have increased my productivity during the day and my motivation. Instead of having a jumbled mom brain I have felt more clear than I have in years.

My weekends are for trying new things. I am not so concerned about getting a workout in, or restricting my diet, because it is all about balance. My weekends are my active rest days and feeding my inner-self. Getting out for a hike, walk or biking (usually with the kids), but those times I am kid free instead of filling my time trying to get errands done I plan something for myself or with a friend, which in most cases is with Sarah…ok in every case!

As I am focusing more on my flexibility Sarah and I decided to take in our FIRST yoga class a few weeks ago at the Yoga Co-op here in Saint John. They have a Saturday morning class – Weekend Warrior, that sounded perfect to me as I had really upped my fitness game that week and felt I could use a good stretch. So, I invited Sarah to come with me and make a morning out of it.

It was just what my body needed. It not only worked my body but my mind. Laura, our instructor reminded us to think of who we are grateful for today, and that it is important to take time for yourself. Basically everything I had been preaching to myself since January. After the session we headed to Rogue Coffee for a latte, girl chat and planning!

It was validation that more days like that morning are exactly what we need - and it is something I genuinely appreciate. Time with my friends plays a huge role in my life. The friends I surround myself with are positive role models, and I look up to them - they make me want to be a better person and mom. They have helped shape me into this new person that I have become.

Do things you love, stop running the errands and give yourself a little time to rejuvenate. What have you done lately, to take time for yourself?

-Jennifer

11:11

Does that mean something to you when you see those digits on the clock? For interest's sake, I Googled the meaning of 11:11. To some, it means "make a wish". To others it's merely the time of day. For some people, seeing those digits often symbolizes being on the right path; an acknowledgment that you are doing exactly what you should be doing at that particular point in your life.

Now, I take the latter belief with a grain of salt- the course of my life needs no validation from the numbers on a clock. However, this theory did prompt me to take a step back and evaluate my life a bit. Hmmm. "AM I doing what I should be doing in this life?" Yes, I'm fairly certain I am. Then I asked myself, "What could I improve upon?" Probably lots, truthfully. But the first thing that came to mind was, "Better Balance."

"I am in the right place at the right time doing the right thing." - Louise Hay

Destination: Balanced Living

Parenting in the 21st century ain't no joke! It's a juggling act that requires a lot of energy! But whether you're a parent or not, life is just darn busy and at the day's end, self care is probably dead last on your "to-do" list.

After the last of my three girls is tucked into bed for the night, I typically collapse on the couch with good intentions of binge-watching "Outlander" on Netflix, but instead find my eyelids drooping shortly after opening scene and my peppermint tea untouched and growing cold. Sound familiar?

When my third daughter was born, my second daughter was still in diapers and my first was in Grade 1. Needless to say, it was a hectic and challenging time in my life. I quickly reached maximum levels of busyness and peak levels of exhaustion. With a husband who works very long hours, I was/am solely responsible for holding down the fort so he can pay for it! Oh, how I PRAYED for that door to swing open at 5 pm (a rarity) just so I could take a breather. Now, I'm fortunate to have a super supportive husband who helps with anything and everything when he has the chance and works equally as hard on his end trying to support our growing family. But in the parenting realm, from dawn til dusk I'm on duty and it at that point in my life, the stress of it was taking its toll. I was constantly firing from all cylinders and was on the path to complete burn out.

Eventually, my body began to betray me...subtly at first and then a more aggressive call to attention...unprovoked muscle and joint pain, chronic daily headaches, mood swings, depression, muscle spasms, numbness and tingling in my hands and feet, frequent illnesses, recurrent infections, limited mobility, and incredible fatigue were all daily struggles. I tried to ignore them all until one day, a 7 cm lump on my neck was discovered and I was forced to take a serious look at my physical health.

Having been through thyroid cancer with my husband 6 years prior, I feared the worst. Thankfully, the lump on my neck was biopsied and determined as benign, then removed. I was ultimately diagnosed with hypothyroidism and was prescribed Synthroid. Not a wonderful diagnosis, but certainly a welcome one compared to what I had diagnosed myself with thanks to Dr. Google. And it explained a lot regarding how I'd been feeling.

Because of the sheer exhaustion that comes with this disorder, I knew something had to give. I needed more balance. My body craved it. I also needed to adjust my views on what "healthy living" meant to me. I knew a single prescribed pill could only work so much magic.

Healthy Self- Heal Thy Self

Hippocrates said it best: " Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food." Wow. And whadya know, he was right. Once I adopted this belief as truth, "Healthy Eating" became LESS about restriction and dieting and MORE about nourishing and healing my body with proper foods. "Exercise" became LESS about punishing my body for eating the wrong food on the weekend and MORE about celebrating what my body is capable of doing.

Now because I'm preaching balance here, let me reassure you, I still indulge! My motto of "everything in moderation" remains the same, it's just that my version of "moderation" has changed.

Although I had adopted a healthier relationship with food and exercise for my physical well-being, I was totally forgetting about the health of mind and soul. You guessed it...MENTAL HEALTH people! It's a real thing and it needs to be taken care of as well as your physical health.

If you've been that frazzled, struggling, depleted shell of a person facing each day in robo mode, then you get it. That's who I was not long ago as a young mom whose life solely revolved around her children. Although the immense love and fulfillment I felt from being a wife and mother was amazing, I slowly began to realize that something was still out of balance; something was still missing.

Paradigm Shift

Let's face it, once you become a parent, any version of a social life you had takes a back seat. And that's normal, especially in the early days. But once my kids started to get older and my health and life in general levelled out a bit, I started to see the forest through the trees. What a light bulb moment it was when I realized that if I didn't start to CREATE time for MYSELF, no one was waiting in line to do it for me. Listen up folks...mothers, fathers, single folks, workaholics, volunteeraholics (because there is a such a thing)...if you don't make yourself also a priority and do the things that lift you up and feed your soul and replenish your empty cup and do the things that make you tick- NO ONE CAN DO IT FOR YOU.

This revelation was the life-giving breath behind SeaGals, created with my friend Jennifer. We realized how much BETTER we were after spending quality time with good friends, doing the things we enjoy and taking time for our passions. The trickle-down effect of nurturing myself and my friendships (without letting GUILT spoil it) has truly been a paradigm shift.

We each started putting things on the calendar to look forward to. Whether it's been a getaway with the whole gang of girlfriends, a dinner date with my husband and another couple, an impromptu yoga class with a best friend or coffee with an old classmate...each occasion I came back HAPPIER. BETTER. REFRESHED and ready to take on the next day with renewed enthusiasm and energy.

In this life, if you are blessed with with gift of special, beautiful friendships, then you should cherish them. Nurture them. Invest in them.

Friendship: A Worthy Investment

The takeaway: A little TLC goes a long way...for your mind, body and soul. Don't underestimate the value of self-care. I would urge you to make yourself and your friendships a priority if you are not doing so already. And if it's guilt holding you back for whatever reason, don't let it get its foot in the door!! Fostering healthy friendships plays such a major role in a person's self care. Apart from the pure enjoyment; the encouragement, motivation, support, inspiration, and camaraderie you receive from good friends is unlike any other.

By nurturing your friendships, you in turn nurture yourself. And when you are better, you are also better to those around you. Now what a lovely little win-win that is!

Take time for yourself. Call a friend and make the effort to connect. The more you put in, the more you'll get out, chances are. Friendships are always an investment worth making and as the song goes...

"Nobody gets a second chance to make new old friends."

-Sarah